SEX TALK

SEX TALK

By Pastor Abayomi Oshin

During Valentine Feast organized by

Youth Ministry of Foursquare Gospel Church,

Divine Favour Chapel, Fatolu, Ipaja, Lagos.

On Saturday 14^th February, 2014

Sometimes ago both my wife and I called our two sons and pleaded with them not to have sex before marriage.  You wonder why.  You may say that because we want them to focus on their education, well may be part of it but that was not the reason.  You may say may be because we don’t want them to get committed so early but we could accept responsibility for impregnating a girl without them getting married immediately. So why did we take the issue of sex before marriage serious with our sons?  That is what informed the organization of the valentine feast for our youth and teens at Foursquare Gospel Church, Divine Favour Chapel, Fatolu, Ipaja, Lagos.

The reason we were so desperate that our children should not have sex before marriage is because of our regrets in life especially those related with sex before marriage.  In July 2013 I embarked on fourteen days fasting because of my financial situation and that of my family.  We have been praying for a Jeep for sometime before then but it seemed an illusion to us.  During the period of fasting I had a dream.  In the dream I saw a lady with whom I have had sexual relationship over thirty years before in my past.  I saw her dangling her pant to me in the dream, I woke up with a start.  I did not need a prophet to interpret the dream.  I prayed for forgiveness of the sin and began to break her power over my finance.  I prayed to bind and cast out avenger of sin of immorality in my life as I claim my forgiveness in the blood of Jesus Christ.  On the fifth day of completing the fasting and praying, God gave me a clean Jeep mysteriously when I could not boast of Fifty Thousand Naira in my account (home and abroad).  My sons called me and asked where I got the money and I told them God provided.

Another event occurred in our centre recently.  One of the trainees told my wife about a friend she had in school who sleep with young men to take their glory.  She said whoever the girl sleeps with will go back in his academic while she moves up.  She narrated the story of one Christian brother that used to teach them in their group that the this girl appeared to him in his dream and desired to have sex with him.  When he woke up he confronted the girl to the knowledge of others that after all we are friends why should I sleep with you?  Eventually, the young man slept with her and immediately after the young man lost his academic prowess and had carry-over in the final exam while the girl came out second class upper.  In the process, this trainee showed the picture of the girl to my wife and she happened to be someone we know closely and could believe the story about.  This and many other reasons made us resolve to share the truth about the implication of sex before marriage with our youth and teens.  I pray that you will not mortgage your destiny.  I promise to give a copy of my book titled “Spiritual Dimension to Singleness” to anyone of the attendees who request, so if you attended the programme and will like to read the book, please request for your copy.

In the following paragraphs I want to answer some of the questions raised by the young people in the programme.

Question 1.  Is it alright to collect gift or money from someone you are not going to date?

Answer:  No.  If someone shows in interest in you and you do not intend to reciprocate his love for you, it is best not to accept gift from him.  Accepting gift from him gives a spiritual ground to deal with you.  Read chapter three of my book talking about Marital Locks and Keys.

Question 2.  Is it true or false that a man that has not had sexual intercourse at the age of thirty will have health problem?

Answer: False.  I know at least two of my leaders in the ministry who married at age thirty as virgins and did not have any problem in their body.  They boasted of it and I was ashamed of my self.

Question 3.  Is it true or false that if girl does not have sex before a certain age she could have problem with having children?

Answer:  Again it is false.  Though it is said that a lady needs to have her first child before the age of thirty five because of the elasticity of the virgina, but I know people who had their first child after the age of forty.  I do not pray that you will be that late to get married.

Question 4.  Is it good to be engaged in a no-sex relationship which is tagged pre-courting?

Answer:  It is alright to have friends, male and female without commitment.  However, you don’t engage in any close relationship when you do not intend marriage.  In the foreign culture among the white, it is a common place to date without commitment and each party can propose or be proposed to by another person without hurting one another.  Even then, some get hurt.  In African setting, if you maintain exclusive relationship with someone, you would have raised their hope, and if you then announce engagement to another they may feel and hurt and revenge spiritually.  Don’t lead a guy or girl on that you are not interested in.

Question 5.  If a guy was forcefully made to have sex with a lady because his life was threatened, will still share the blessings and curses of the lady noting that he did not willingly do it? Or what if a girl is raped?

Answer: Yes.  As I said in my presentation, entering into love world with a person makes you partaker of the blessings and curses of that person.  As with rape, that you need to go for medical checkup, so it is that you need spiritual checkup to get rid of any demon that could have crept into your life through the sexual intercourse.  Remember the case of the girl I mentioned above who get boys to sleep with her because she want to steal their glory.  With rape, consider the cases of Dinna in Genesis 34 and that of Tarmar in 2 Sam. 13.  In both cases both the victim and the rapist were injured spiritually.

Question 6.  What if we are not virgin, what should we do?

Answer:  Thank God for your honesty.  What you can do is to sincerely go to God in prayer and confess your sin of immorality.  Then determine to stop.  Your determination must be backed up with prayer and possibly fasting because sex is not easy to give up.  But if you are sincere with God He will help you.  Read Genesis 20:6 and pray with it to God that He prevented Abimelech from sinning against Him (God) that God should prevent you from pre-marital sex henceforth till your marriage.  When you come into any relationship, you define your terms before you start stating that you are not a virgin but have repented and had vowed not to have sex before your marriage.  If you are able to keep it up you will be surprise how your husband or wife will respect you in the marriage and God blessing will be upon you.

Question 7.  How can someone flee fornication?

Answer: First, mind what your thoughts dwell on.  Out of the abundance of the heart speaks the mouth.  The next thing is to mind what you feed your mind with.  Most of the secular music of today targeted at the youth dwell on sex and the more of such music you listen to, the more you are been drag to the sin of fornication.  Instead begin to listen to songs of praise of God.  At first it may appear boring, but gradually you will soon find out that they sooth the soul and give peace.  Secondly mind the company you keep.  Bad company corrupts good character.  Stay away from friends who are always talking about girls instead of career or their future and God.

Question 8.  If you don’t love someone but you like him or her, how can you stop thinking about him or her?

Answer:  That situation suggests to me that you have probably had sex with the person and you will need to pray that God will break the soul-tie.  Please read chapter four of my book where I discuss Soul-tie and how to break it in chapter ten.

Question 9.  Is Valentine day meant for only boyfriend and girlfriend?  I think it meant for coming together of friends and families to have fun.

Answer:  Let me say that Valentine day is not primarily our culture, it started in Rome and gradually spread across many nations of the world including ours.  In the western culture it is a day for lovers.  If you choose to spend the day with your friends and family it is no crime and that should be encouraged instead of engaging in debauchery.

Question 10.  If someone believes in God but not a Christian and you have had sex with that person, how can you preach to such person to become a Christian?

Answer:  The Bible says in 2 Corr. 6:14-15 “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?

And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever?”  It is self-deceit saying you want to preach to him, as long as keep going to him you will be having sex with him.  You need serious prayer to break up with such people because there is no other god that the God of Christians.  If you want to know the truth you can get in touch with me and I will share with you some facts and evidence of our God as against other gods that people worship.  Please feel free to come to me, I am your pastor by grace and your secret is secret with me.

Anyone of you reading this material can reach me on 08023214575 or email me on isaacoshin@outlook.com  You can also read my articles for young people on my blogs

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http://upcoming-generation.blogspot.com/ and ​

http//isaacoshin.blogspot.com

I pray that Satan will lose the battle for your soul in Jesus Christ name.

Be Your Own Boss

By  

Mrs. Elizabeth Kenny Oshin

Director, Training & Administration

PEACE AND DEVELOPMENT  CENTRE, Ipaja

Are you read and yet unemployed or employed without fulfillment and/or satisfaction?  Are you struggling to gain admission into the university without luck and you already getting old then God may be telling you something.  Many of the business magnates were forced into business by hardship along the line in their lives. Life will often give you lemon, it is your duty to make lemonade of it. 

I struggled in different directions before I discovered my calling; vocational training.  Before studying catering for industry with South-East London and sugar craft with West London College, I had struggle to gain admission into the University to study medicine or health management.  With hinge sight, now I know that the hardship of those days were to shape my life to give glory to God.  There will always be economic meltdown.  There was global recession in 1945 following the second world war, some nations embarked on austerity measures and their economies contrasted further.  But those with great vision, U.S. A. in particular embarked on borrowing to invest and their economies bounced back faster.  Citizens of United State of America are more enterprising than many other countries in the world because most of their great men started with personal skill development.  Vocational training is all about developing your God-given skills.  At Peace and Development Vocational Training Centre, I bring to bear the skill that God has deposited in me and help young ones to bring out the ones deposited in them.   

Many love cooking and entertaining naturally but they are not making money out of it because they think it belittles them to be a Caterer.  Some have fashion design ideas even when they have not learn the skill and they have no paid employment, yet they spend fortunes in buying clothes that do not fit them nor meet their taste.  Many homes will be happier today if the women can supplement the income of their husbands.  Even if you work, you can make extra income through your God-given skills.  To also lessen the burden of your dependent relatives including church members, send them to acquire skills through vocational training.    

 The structured academic system conditions the mind of people for employment which in the real sense of it is slavery, vocational training, especially with sincere Christian institutions as Peace And Development Centre, empowers you to become entrepreneur.  Think of what you can do with your hand and it will surprise you what God can do with it for you.  

At Peace And Development Centre we build people beyond the skill.  We run what could be called Total Training by engaging the trainees practically, exposing them to real life situations through excursions and paid outdoor catering job while we also pray aggressively with our trainees to tackle their spiritual challenges that are responsible for some people’s plight. We are accredited by both NABTEB and Federal Ministry of Labour for Trade Test. I encourage you to come and enrol today at Peace And Development Vocational Training Centre.  You can call me personally on 0803 228 5165 or Pastor on 0802 321 4575 for further details.

BEYOND YOU BUT BELOW CHRIST JESUS

BEYOND YOU BUT BELOW CHRIST JESUS

By Pastor Abayomi Oshin, F.G.C. Baruwa District Youth Minister

“the eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that you may know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, and what is the exceeding greatness of His power toward us who believe, according to the working of His mighty power  which He worked in Christ when He raised Him from the dead and seated Him at His right hand in the heavenly places, far above all principality and power and might and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this age but also in that which is to come. And He put all things under His feet, and gave Him to be head over all things to the church” – Eph. 1:18 – 22 (NKJV)

Sometimes ago I was led to chat a young man who is very active in the church youth and I probed him about his personal life, when he opened up I realised that his activity in the youth was a facade.  Deep down he is hurt and bitter.  He felt rejected.  At another time I noticed a sad countenance on a young member of the church and called him to find the root of his sad countenance he said nobody is listening to him.  People consider him to be too young to contribute to discussions.  Again I detected feeling of rejection in him.  In the case of another youth who had made mistake of pre-marital sex and got a child in the process, she told me that men call her second-hand and she also feels rejected because the man that impregnated her went and marry another lady.  When I was appointed newly as the District Youth Minister, I called a young man and asked him what programme he thinks will benefit the youth most.  He answered me that any programme touching on success and prosperity will be attractive. I challenged him that he has been attending such programmes for a while why should that be so attractive to him and his reply was that he wanted to make a statement to his parents because he feels rejected.

Besides the feeling of rejection, another feeling that commonly overwhelm the youth in the church is failure.  Many regard themselves as failures and good-for-nothing because of some expensive mistakes they make sometime in the journey of their lives.  There are many who are putting their best into their education and yet unable to pass major examinations.  Many of these are very good in the class but they never make the required grade for any tangible certificate.  Unfortunately, all the counsel they get from the pulpit is “put in more effort, work harder” and they become more burdened coming to church instead of their burden being alleviated as everybody seem to know better than them in relating with them.  Many academically sound are jobless and treated as errand boys in the church instead of being helped and their mates that are fortunate to be gainfully employed by multinationals are the candidates for leadership positions in the church.

Feelings of rejection and failure are not the only problems confronting the youth in the church today, there is also the problem of loneliness.  There are many that are due for marriage but could not think of it because they are still struggling to get job and there are the ladies who have no suitors.  Unfortunately human philosophy has taken the place of the Word of life on many pulpits. And some pastors have become motivational speakers without the fire of Holy Spirit in their messages.  The youth are motivated and when they get out they are frustrated because their enemies seem to be stronger.

I don’t know if you are one of the youth that feels so burdened and overwhelmed by the challenges of your life.  I am called to draw your attention to the reality of your life in Christ Jesus.  That “we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places”. – Eph. 6:12.  That is why your problem seems to be beyond you.  There are those who are under generational curse and who have not consciously claimed their freedom in Christ Jesus.  There are those who are paying for the wealth of their forefathers who have satanically drawn the wealth of their children children yet unborn.  They inherit great fortune but they remain poor. These people only need to renounce the unprofitable foundation but yet they suffer in ignorance.  There are also countless youth who are paying for the wickedness of their parents and they do not know that they can confess the sins of their parents and receive forgiveness and live free.  Some youth permit spirit spouse to torment them and make their lives miserable instead of standing their ground in Christ Jesus, binding and casting out the demon.

Whatever be your situation today as a youth believe that Jesus has been raised above all the principalities and the problems that have name.  Review your stand in Christ and re-dedicate yourself if need be.  Our salvation through Christ saves us from every embarrassing situation for the Scripture says, "Whoever believes on Him will not be put to shame." – Rom. 9:33

Rejection is not peculiar to you we all feel rejected at some points in life but often time the rejection is perceived rather than real.  Our Lord Jesus Christ even felt that way when He was dying on the cross.  He said “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” – Mark 15:34.  The one you think rejects you may have his or her own problem that made him/her to behave the way he/she did without knowing how much it hurts.  To overcome rejection, you need to rise above the opinion of man about you and care mainly about what God thinks and says about you.  "Can a woman forget her nursing child, And not have compassion on the son of her womb? Surely they may forget, Yet I will not forget you....” – Isaiah 49:15.  This is the promise of God for His children.

Let me also talk to you who feel inferior to others.  This is self rejection.  Because you are not so read you allow people to make you feel small; you are caught in performance trap, you think your achievement will make you a better person or be accepted by people, well I want you to read 2 Cor. 10:12 “For we dare not class ourselves or compare ourselves with those who commend themselves. But they, measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise”.

To you who call yourself a failure I say that go and read the Bible very well and seen how great men have fallen and risen.  Moses failed in killing the Egyptian and God raised him again to fulfil destiny.  David failed when he slept with Uriah’s wife but he repented and was restored.  Rediscover the Lord and love Him.  Seek Him and His help in your situation and He will turn your shame to glory. 

As your District Youth Minister, I have been called to identify with your pain, pray with you and share with you my knowledge of Jesus Christ as loving and caring Saviour.  He is calling you today saying "Come to Me, all you who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” – Matt. 11:28.   Though your problem may be beyond you but if you will sincerely be in Christ, the problems will be below you because Christ is lifted above them all.  Feel free to call me any time as your youth minister for counselling and/or prayer on 0802 321 4575 and I promise to treat your case as confidential.