SEX TALK
By Pastor Abayomi
Oshin
During Valentine
Feast organized by
Youth Ministry of Foursquare
Gospel Church,
Divine Favour Chapel,
Fatolu, Ipaja, Lagos.
On Saturday 14th
February, 2014
Sometimes ago both my wife and I
called our two sons and pleaded with them not to have sex before marriage. You wonder why. You may say that because we want them to
focus on their education, well may be part of it but that was not the
reason. You may say may be because we
don’t want them to get committed so early but we could accept responsibility
for impregnating a girl without them getting married immediately. So why did we
take the issue of sex before marriage serious with our sons? That is what informed the organization of the
valentine feast for our youth and teens at Foursquare Gospel Church, Divine
Favour Chapel, Fatolu, Ipaja, Lagos.
The reason we were so desperate
that our children should not have sex before marriage is because of our regrets
in life especially those related with sex before marriage. In July 2013 I embarked on fourteen days
fasting because of my financial situation and that of my family. We have been praying for a Jeep for sometime
before then but it seemed an illusion to us.
During the period of fasting I had a dream. In the dream I saw a lady with whom I have
had sexual relationship over thirty years before in my past. I saw her dangling her pant to me in the
dream, I woke up with a start. I did not
need a prophet to interpret the dream. I
prayed for forgiveness of the sin and began to break her power over my
finance. I prayed to bind and cast out
avenger of sin of immorality in my life as I claim my forgiveness in the blood
of Jesus Christ. On the fifth day of
completing the fasting and praying, God gave me a clean Jeep mysteriously when
I could not boast of Fifty Thousand Naira in my account (home and abroad). My sons called me and asked where I got the
money and I told them God provided.
Another event occurred in our
centre recently. One of the trainees told
my wife about a friend she had in school who sleep with young men to take their
glory. She said whoever the girl sleeps
with will go back in his academic while she moves up. She narrated the story of one Christian
brother that used to teach them in their group that the this girl appeared to
him in his dream and desired to have sex with him. When he woke up he confronted the girl to the
knowledge of others that after all we are friends why should I sleep with
you? Eventually, the young man slept
with her and immediately after the young man lost his academic prowess and had
carry-over in the final exam while the girl came out second class upper. In the process, this trainee showed the
picture of the girl to my wife and she happened to be someone we know closely
and could believe the story about. This
and many other reasons made us resolve to share the truth about the implication
of sex before marriage with our youth and teens. I pray that you will not mortgage your
destiny. I promise to give a copy of my
book titled “Spiritual Dimension to Singleness” to anyone of the attendees
who request, so if you attended the programme and will like to read the book,
please request for your copy.
In the following paragraphs I
want to answer some of the questions raised by the young people in the
programme.
Question 1. Is it alright to collect gift or money from
someone you are not going to date?
Answer: No. If
someone shows in interest in you and you do not intend to reciprocate his love
for you, it is best not to accept gift from him. Accepting gift from him gives a spiritual
ground to deal with you. Read chapter
three of my book talking about Marital Locks and Keys.
Question 2. Is it true or false that a man that has not
had sexual intercourse at the age of thirty will have health problem?
Answer: False. I know at least two of my leaders in the
ministry who married at age thirty as virgins and did not have any problem in
their body. They boasted of it and I was
ashamed of my self.
Question 3. Is it true or false that if girl does not
have sex before a certain age she could have problem with having children?
Answer: Again it is false. Though it is said that a lady needs to have
her first child before the age of thirty five because of the elasticity of the
virgina, but I know people who had their first child after the age of
forty. I do not pray that you will be
that late to get married.
Question 4. Is it good to be engaged in a no-sex
relationship which is tagged pre-courting?
Answer: It is alright to have friends, male and
female without commitment. However, you
don’t engage in any close relationship when you do not intend marriage. In the foreign culture among the white, it is
a common place to date without commitment and each party can propose or be
proposed to by another person without hurting one another. Even then, some get hurt. In African setting, if you maintain exclusive
relationship with someone, you would have raised their hope, and if you then
announce engagement to another they may feel and hurt and revenge
spiritually. Don’t lead a guy or girl on
that you are not interested in.
Question 5. If a guy was forcefully made to have sex with
a lady because his life was threatened, will still share the blessings and
curses of the lady noting that he did not willingly do it? Or what if a girl is
raped?
Answer: Yes. As I said in my presentation, entering into
love world with a person makes you partaker of the blessings and curses of that
person. As with rape, that you need to go
for medical checkup, so it is that you need spiritual checkup to get rid of any
demon that could have crept into your life through the sexual intercourse. Remember the case of the girl I mentioned
above who get boys to sleep with her because she want to steal their glory. With rape, consider the cases of Dinna in
Genesis 34 and that of Tarmar in 2 Sam. 13.
In both cases both the victim and the rapist were injured spiritually.
Question 6. What if we are not virgin, what should we do?
Answer: Thank God for your honesty. What you can do is to sincerely go to God in
prayer and confess your sin of immorality.
Then determine to stop. Your
determination must be backed up with prayer and possibly fasting because sex is
not easy to give up. But if you are
sincere with God He will help you. Read
Genesis 20:6 and pray with it to God that He prevented Abimelech from sinning
against Him (God) that God should prevent you from pre-marital sex henceforth
till your marriage. When you come into
any relationship, you define your terms before you start stating that you are
not a virgin but have repented and had vowed not to have sex before your
marriage. If you are able to keep it up
you will be surprise how your husband or wife will respect you in the marriage
and God blessing will be upon you.
Question 7. How can someone flee fornication?
Answer: First, mind what your
thoughts dwell on. Out of the abundance
of the heart speaks the mouth. The next
thing is to mind what you feed your mind with.
Most of the secular music of today targeted at the youth dwell on sex
and the more of such music you listen to, the more you are been drag to the sin
of fornication. Instead begin to listen
to songs of praise of God. At first it
may appear boring, but gradually you will soon find out that they sooth the
soul and give peace. Secondly mind the
company you keep. Bad company corrupts
good character. Stay away from friends
who are always talking about girls instead of career or their future and God.
Question 8. If you don’t love someone but you like him or
her, how can you stop thinking about him or her?
Answer: That situation suggests to me that you have
probably had sex with the person and you will need to pray that God will break
the soul-tie. Please read chapter four
of my book where I discuss Soul-tie and how to break it in chapter ten.
Question 9. Is Valentine day meant for only boyfriend and
girlfriend? I think it meant for coming
together of friends and families to have fun.
Answer: Let me say that Valentine day is not
primarily our culture, it started in Rome and gradually spread across many
nations of the world including ours. In
the western culture it is a day for lovers.
If you choose to spend the day with your friends and family it is no
crime and that should be encouraged instead of engaging in debauchery.
Question 10. If someone believes in God but not a
Christian and you have had sex with that person, how can you preach to such
person to become a Christian?
Answer: The Bible says in 2 Corr. 6:14-15 “Do
not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has
righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?
And what accord has Christ with
Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever?” It is self-deceit saying you want to
preach to him, as long as keep going to him you will be having sex with
him. You need serious prayer to break up
with such people because there is no other god that the God of Christians. If you want to know the truth you can get in
touch with me and I will share with you some facts and evidence of our God as
against other gods that people worship.
Please feel free to come to me, I am your pastor by grace and your
secret is secret with me.
Anyone of you reading this material can reach me on
08023214575 or email me on isaacoshin@outlook.com You can also read my articles for young
people on my blogs
http//isaacoshin.blogspot.com
I pray that Satan will lose the
battle for your soul in Jesus Christ name.
